What do you think you would be doing if Starbugs didn’t exist?
If Starbugs didn’t exist, my career would be 30% graphic artist, 30% model aeroplane shop assistant, and the remaining 40% house husband. The 30% model-making bit would probably soon balloon to 150%.
Since you three are nonverbal, you can perform all over the world. Can you think of any gig you would accept if it meant leaving your home base for a lengthy period of time?
At the moment I really like performing in Switzerland. And since we tour around the world often enough anyway, I hardly ever get the travel bug.
Have you ever imagined what your last-ever performance would be like?
Not so far. Perhaps it is a bit like dying – better not to know the time and place in advance.
Would you take part in a talent show?
No – or rather: never again!
Any football club is more than just 11 players. How big is the Starbugs team?
Three outfield players, one coach, one game strategist, one team manager, one fan club of about 70,000 and many unregistered fans.
Are you single?
No, I am a LP.
What do you spend the most money on?
For my retirement scheme and my rent.
What do you find funny?
Good Chuck Norris jokes and the things my children say.
Are you a Mac or a PC person?
I am a Mac person. But like most people, I started with a PC. Never regretted switching but I find Apple these days pretty lame.
What did you want to be as a child?
Pilot. And I still want to be one really.
Do you prefer films in 3D or 2D?
2D. Ideally not in HD either. I don’t have a TV and can’t get used to images that are too high-def.
What music do you listen to at home?
Hard rock or metal when cleaning. Otherwise I tend to listen to songwriters like Asgeir Trausti. In the office or workshop, Radio GRRIF.
What is the worst fine/penalty you have ever had to pay?
CHF 1500 court costs for refusing to do military service.
What is something you are no good at?
Playing footy with my left foot, which means I can’t juggle a ball properly either. When I give it a real boot, the ball rolls about 3 metres or I trip over it.
What is your earliest memory?
Camping holidays with my parents at Lago Maggiore. I was given a little yellow toy boat by my godfather and slept with my brother on a bunk in a campervan.
What would you like to do away with?
Those little plastic bags at the supermarket and any packaging used for less than 10 minutes.
What was your worst job?
Working on a conveyor belt in a biscuit factory. I did it for 4 days while swotting for my vocational training exam, and admire anyone who can do it for lengthy periods. On the 5th day I decided to call in sick and forfeit my pay.
Where would you really love to go one day?
To go with my parents right across Austria into South Tyrol. There are still a few places there they want to show me from their past.
What talent would you dearly like to have?
I would love to be the best guitar player in the world and able to speak at least 10 languages fluently.
How long do you tend to sit on the loo?
A really long time. Sometimes so long that my legs fall asleep so I have stand there for another minute or two in front of the bowl until I am able to walk again.
What is home for you?
The feeling I get when I come over the Frienisberg hill and into the Bern Lake District again after a long period away. All kinds of memories flood over me then. The feeling you get when there is a memory attached to every house, every intersection and every big tree you see is what I call home.